![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
x_massHi, I’ve been assuming whilst I was a member of Queer Culture Club that everyone knew I was transexual, butr given the nature of the discussion I thought was important to repeat this.
I like a lot of transexuals I am Intersex, specifically 47 trisome type 2 Partial Androgyne Insensitivity Syndrome Surgicaly altered at birth to meet male specifications. I was raised as male, and became self aware as being a girl around the same age most people do: 2 - 3 years old. Like all the girls around me I internally learnt to be a girl, in the same way as all the other girls around me did. Except that when I acted like all the other girls, I was punished for not acting like a boy. Trying to be a good girl, I tried to behave as I was expected to but, it made me very depressed.
Another aspect of transexuality is that my genitals feel like a violation of my body. Before the development of modern surgery, the normal practice of hundreds off thousands of years was to cut them off ones body. I repeatedly tried to do so myself when I was young. Otherwise I found that if I bound them into my body, so no part was beyond the surface the feeling of violation would reduce.
When I was at kindergarten, I played with the other girls and I was treated as being one of them. When I went to primary school I was instead forced to be a boy, and excluded by the other girls. And I became very depressed. [History Edited] At Age 6 told a psychiatrist I was a girl, got sent to a nearly all boys school to rescue my masculinity. At 10 stopped trying to remove my gentiles as I became too depressed to believe I had any choice over my body, I believed I had committed some unknown crime that meant I had to live with them. I still have issues about whether I have the right to choose what I want for my body. When at home and at the boys school I would leave the premises and switch out my ‘male’ clothes for 'female clothes'. From about 11 or 12 I would repeatedly tell my patents I wanted to be a girl. I was sent to an analyst who thought I was frightened of losing my penis, every time I stated how I longed for them to be gone.
With the advent of puberty everything got horribly bad, I couldn’t hide my genitals away. I also became very aware that part of my body felt like it was missing. That I had a layer of skin where it felt like I should have something inside me. I also started to change into this monstrous thing, whilst all the other girls increasingly became women. As a result from 13 I just couldn’t cope with the emotions I was feeling and I first numbed out and then my emotions switched off completely
At the age 15 I finally went loud about being transexual & out as a dyke. Disbelieved by everybody. I was told it was a contradiction in terms. That I could only want to be a girl if I was attracted to men. Wore female clothes publicly at school. Discovered I was not the only one watching Julia Grant on TV in 1979. I Thought it was 5 to 10 of us, when reading Jan Morris book. Read John Money books. That form the basis of the TERF model of feminism. Problem: John Money falsfied his evidence. At 16/17 I sought hormones at Tavistock Clinic, I was Refused. At 18 I saw the head of CX GIC privately who a friend had got her Sex Reasignment clearance through & surgery at 21. Banned from CX because a. not hetrosexual & b. wearing trousers. As the psychiatrist said "women wear skirts & I'm an expert on women". Still out/loud as dyke/TS tried other GIC's seeking Hormones, repeatedly refused because of not Het!
In 1988 at the age of 23 I stopped living as a man. I also finally got authorisation for hormones from Russel Read. Sadly hormones had little effect because in the NHS, hormones are used as part of a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Token_economy As a mechanism to control transexual people, not to cause change to our bodies. This is different what is done with people who are assigned as women at birth. I have Type 2 Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, if I had type 4 I would have likely to have been assigned female at birth by a doctor. In that context every effort would be made to bring about a normal female puberty. Someone with type 2 and type 4 can be exactly the same genetically. Your gender all comes down to how a doctor assigns you at birth
Because my body wasn’t responding to the hormones due to my liver screening them out. A mistake was made by the NHS. I was given 3mg ethinyl-oestradiol (rather than 3mg Oestradiol) i.e. 100 birth control pill per day + 3x normal dosage of Androcurse. After a year, got a Deep Vein Thrombosis. In 1990 Russell gve me my referral for surgery. To have your body modified to make it less sexually dimorphic or to change the sex a psychiatrists approval is required. If however you want surgery to make you more sexually dimorphic there is no such requirement. So if your a woman and you want your breasts to be larger then no approval is needed, if you want to have your breasts made smaller then a psychiatrist must give approval to your saniety.
In 1991 I had a badly messed up NHS orchidectomy. In the process discovered my testes were between ovaries & testes. Side effect: I rapidly put on weight which stopped the sex resignment surgery I was due to have later that year. I have been barred from surgery ever since because of weight.
In 89 with partner ran Bicon 7 national bisexual confrence, 1st trans women in women only space event on planet. Did Trans support since 1990 Helped set up Gender Trust with Fran Springfield. Didn't become director of Press for Change as focus on support. Joined Lesbian Avengers. Involved in London lesbian & gay policing intiative at scotland yard. Sat on the Association of Londob Govermnent L&G group trying to get them to become LGBT. In 1994 me, Lisa, Adam & Tom changed Pride Trust from L&G to LGBT 1st LGBT organisation on planet. The TG working group wrote Transgender definition as "people who challenge 'traditional' assumptions about gender"(I invented the term Transgender in 1988 as an Drag/ts/tv/cd term as part of Bicon 7)
(accidentally deleted a bunch here to be updated)
Intiative. I spread inclusion of LGBT to ACPO main national police organisation. Lisa moved LGBT inclusion worldwide via ILGA. Was going to be involved in London Mayors LGBT team, after move from ALG.
I like a lot of transexuals I am Intersex, specifically 47 trisome type 2 Partial Androgyne Insensitivity Syndrome Surgicaly altered at birth to meet male specifications. I was raised as male, and became self aware as being a girl around the same age most people do: 2 - 3 years old. Like all the girls around me I internally learnt to be a girl, in the same way as all the other girls around me did. Except that when I acted like all the other girls, I was punished for not acting like a boy. Trying to be a good girl, I tried to behave as I was expected to but, it made me very depressed.
Another aspect of transexuality is that my genitals feel like a violation of my body. Before the development of modern surgery, the normal practice of hundreds off thousands of years was to cut them off ones body. I repeatedly tried to do so myself when I was young. Otherwise I found that if I bound them into my body, so no part was beyond the surface the feeling of violation would reduce.
When I was at kindergarten, I played with the other girls and I was treated as being one of them. When I went to primary school I was instead forced to be a boy, and excluded by the other girls. And I became very depressed. [History Edited] At Age 6 told a psychiatrist I was a girl, got sent to a nearly all boys school to rescue my masculinity. At 10 stopped trying to remove my gentiles as I became too depressed to believe I had any choice over my body, I believed I had committed some unknown crime that meant I had to live with them. I still have issues about whether I have the right to choose what I want for my body. When at home and at the boys school I would leave the premises and switch out my ‘male’ clothes for 'female clothes'. From about 11 or 12 I would repeatedly tell my patents I wanted to be a girl. I was sent to an analyst who thought I was frightened of losing my penis, every time I stated how I longed for them to be gone.
With the advent of puberty everything got horribly bad, I couldn’t hide my genitals away. I also became very aware that part of my body felt like it was missing. That I had a layer of skin where it felt like I should have something inside me. I also started to change into this monstrous thing, whilst all the other girls increasingly became women. As a result from 13 I just couldn’t cope with the emotions I was feeling and I first numbed out and then my emotions switched off completely
At the age 15 I finally went loud about being transexual & out as a dyke. Disbelieved by everybody. I was told it was a contradiction in terms. That I could only want to be a girl if I was attracted to men. Wore female clothes publicly at school. Discovered I was not the only one watching Julia Grant on TV in 1979. I Thought it was 5 to 10 of us, when reading Jan Morris book. Read John Money books. That form the basis of the TERF model of feminism. Problem: John Money falsfied his evidence. At 16/17 I sought hormones at Tavistock Clinic, I was Refused. At 18 I saw the head of CX GIC privately who a friend had got her Sex Reasignment clearance through & surgery at 21. Banned from CX because a. not hetrosexual & b. wearing trousers. As the psychiatrist said "women wear skirts & I'm an expert on women". Still out/loud as dyke/TS tried other GIC's seeking Hormones, repeatedly refused because of not Het!
In 1988 at the age of 23 I stopped living as a man. I also finally got authorisation for hormones from Russel Read. Sadly hormones had little effect because in the NHS, hormones are used as part of a https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Token_economy As a mechanism to control transexual people, not to cause change to our bodies. This is different what is done with people who are assigned as women at birth. I have Type 2 Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, if I had type 4 I would have likely to have been assigned female at birth by a doctor. In that context every effort would be made to bring about a normal female puberty. Someone with type 2 and type 4 can be exactly the same genetically. Your gender all comes down to how a doctor assigns you at birth
Because my body wasn’t responding to the hormones due to my liver screening them out. A mistake was made by the NHS. I was given 3mg ethinyl-oestradiol (rather than 3mg Oestradiol) i.e. 100 birth control pill per day + 3x normal dosage of Androcurse. After a year, got a Deep Vein Thrombosis. In 1990 Russell gve me my referral for surgery. To have your body modified to make it less sexually dimorphic or to change the sex a psychiatrists approval is required. If however you want surgery to make you more sexually dimorphic there is no such requirement. So if your a woman and you want your breasts to be larger then no approval is needed, if you want to have your breasts made smaller then a psychiatrist must give approval to your saniety.
In 1991 I had a badly messed up NHS orchidectomy. In the process discovered my testes were between ovaries & testes. Side effect: I rapidly put on weight which stopped the sex resignment surgery I was due to have later that year. I have been barred from surgery ever since because of weight.
In 89 with partner ran Bicon 7 national bisexual confrence, 1st trans women in women only space event on planet. Did Trans support since 1990 Helped set up Gender Trust with Fran Springfield. Didn't become director of Press for Change as focus on support. Joined Lesbian Avengers. Involved in London lesbian & gay policing intiative at scotland yard. Sat on the Association of Londob Govermnent L&G group trying to get them to become LGBT. In 1994 me, Lisa, Adam & Tom changed Pride Trust from L&G to LGBT 1st LGBT organisation on planet. The TG working group wrote Transgender definition as "people who challenge 'traditional' assumptions about gender"(I invented the term Transgender in 1988 as an Drag/ts/tv/cd term as part of Bicon 7)
(accidentally deleted a bunch here to be updated)
Intiative. I spread inclusion of LGBT to ACPO main national police organisation. Lisa moved LGBT inclusion worldwide via ILGA. Was going to be involved in London Mayors LGBT team, after move from ALG.
